Posted 5/9/13 by Common Good
By Lenore Skenazy
To understand our undoing as a nation all you need to do is examine a single form filled out by a second grade teacher on May 3, 2013: The Suffolk Public Schools Discliplinary Referral Notice to Parents/Guardians:
On that date, under the section "DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT," the teacher wrote, "Christopher pointed his pencil at another student as if it was a gun and made shooting sounds. I told him to stop and he did."
Now, you might THINK that that final sentence meant she told him to stop and he did. As in, "Okay kids, now let's get back to our math lesson." But in fact, the next part of the form is labeled, "THIS SECTION MUST BE FILLED OUT" and so it was, detailing all the post-pencil-pointing "ACTION TAKEN." Apparently the admins:
Held a conference with the student.
Met with his mother.
Suspended the boy for two days.
That'll teach him to point a pencil!
Of course, this was all the result of Zero Tolerance, the school rules that are often interpreted with such bizarre literalness it's as if the principals have willed themselves into a kind of administrative autism. In this case, the school's policy is against "weapons or anything that resembles a weapon." If there's any difference between a pencil and a gun, well, the principal couldn't see it.
But what's even more disturbing -- and that's saying a lot -- is that the administration actually assumed its students were just as delusional.
Bethanne Bradshaw, a spokesperson for Suffolk Public Schools, told a Fox reporter that, when accompanied by verbal "gun noises" (or at least the universal stand-in for real gun noise -- the word, "Bang!"), "Some children would consider it threatening, who are scared about shootings in schools or shootings in the community....They think about drive-by shootings and murders."
They do? Then here's a tip: Instead of reinforcing their hysteria by reacting as if they're in real danger, try saying something soothing instead, like, "Look, hon, it's just a pencil." (Or something satisfying like, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, IT'S JUST A PENCIL!")
But since it seems more likely that the kids were not ACTUALLY scared of being shot by a #2 Ticonderoga, then let's retire the, "Oh, the poor, rattled children!" rationale. If no one feels threatened, why overreact? And why teach kids to overreact, too?
Because that's what we've been trained to do. Safetyland -- excuse me, America -- is so obsessed with safety that we demand it even when we're already extremely safe. We want super-safety -- the kind you get when you make middle-aged moms take off their shoes before getting to the gate. Yes, we are 99.99999% sure you're not a shoe bomber, but just in case.
At school: Yes, we are 99.999999999999999999999% sure your pencil is not a gun, but just in case.
And in the courts: Yes, we are 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999% convinced that a simple, "Put down that pencil" would have been the appropriate response. Case adjourned.
Until that sane day, we must remain very afraid.
Of hysteria in the schools.
Lenore Skenazy is the author of the book and blog “Free-Range Kids,” which launched the anti-helicopter parenting movement. She’s going to be posting here from time to time on issues of interest to Common Good supporters. As Lenore puts it, she’s ready to make “America the Home of the Brave again, not the Home of the Bureaucrats So Stupid that a Hazmat Crew Gets Called to a High School When a Student Brings in a Mercury Thermometer. (Which really happened a few months back, in Florida.)” And here’s her outrage of the week. Chime in!